


lean on me

by RainbowBooze



Series: sweet and savory [3]
Category: League of Legends
Genre: Alternate Universe - K/DA, Comfort/Angst, F/F, Fluff and Angst, panic attack tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-20 22:59:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16564760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainbowBooze/pseuds/RainbowBooze
Summary: Kai’Sa gets triggered into a panic attack and Sivir, although unsure of what to do, stays with her and comforts her.





	lean on me

Kai’Sa hummed as she sat in the car, waiting for the object of her affections to arrive before getting out.

Although K/DA was a newly formed group--even newer to the western scene--already the girls had found paparazzi and slightly crazed fans. For Ahri it was even worse; she was a reinvented star and she already had a large fanbase before.

For a star as popular and well established as her, that meant she had a significant amount of obsessive fans that most likely followed her to K/DA.

Kai’Sa winced at the thought, feeling especially protective of her leader. Luckily, they haven’t had an incident with these specific fans and she’d like to keep it that way.

“Eve would go off,” Kai’Sa mused to herself.

Her eyes lazily wandered the cityscape—it wasn’t a new scene to her, she remembered going to all sorts of cities when she travelled, each one having its own quirk and culture. It appeared this city’s quirk was merely hour-long traffic and absolutely no parking. At rush hour, the traffic seemed to be worse than Hong Kong’s traffic; rows and rows of cars and trucks stuck in one spot on the highway, buses and cars crowding city streets.

She was pulled out of her rambling thoughts when her phone buzzed, a message popping up to tell her that her companion had just arrived. Her eyes scanned the streets and she smiled when she saw Sivir.

The woman was wearing light grey joggers and a simple t-shirt. Over the t-shirt, she wore a black windbreaker, partially zipped and doing a very good job at complementing the woman’s comfortable wear. To top it off—literally— she wore a plain black cap with her hair down.

Humming quietly, she got out of the car and pulled her sunglasses off, smiling widely when Sivir’s eyes met hers. She walked over to the woman and hugged her, feeling giddy and warm when she saw a warm smile on Sivir’s lips.

“Hey,” Sivir greeted simply, grabbing Kai’Sa hands. “Hope you’re ready to walk because there is no such thing as driving in the city.”

Kai’Sa huffed and nodded, rolling her eyes when the city traffic was mentioned again.

“If I knew the train lines well enough, I’d probably just do that.” Kai’Sa walked in step with Sivir, the woman leading her around.

“Well, I’ll teach you while we take them,” Sivir said, laughing when she looked over to see Kai’Sa’s pout. “They’re not hard to remember.”

“I’d rather just have you be with me and guide me,” Kai’Sa suggested teasingly, winking at the sun-kissed woman. “That way I can have a nice chat with a cutie too.”

Sivir groaned, blushing and smiling at the woman who always managed to catch her off guard. Kai’Sa giggled quietly at the sight, her heart beating just a bit faster than usual.

The pop star felt herself inch closer to Sivir, smiling as they chatted quietly. They were not the only ones roaming the streets but to Kai’Sa, it felt like it. Her mind only focused on Sivir; her long brown hair swaying in the gentle breeze, her hazel orbs looking around before returning to the dancer every now and then… Kai’Sa felt absolutely entranced, caught in a web of a growing affection for the woman next to her.

“Boba?” Sivir asked, arching an eyebrow.

Kai’Sa nodded happily, lips widening with ease. She was led to a comfortable looking cafe, the inside holding an assortment of furniture and tables. She saw a little bakery to the side, separate from the main counter where drinks were being made with precision and speed.

“I’ll treat.” Sivir squeezed her hand before tugging her towards the line.

“No, you’re using your free time to take me around,” Kai’Sa pouted. “I’ll treat.”

Sivir smiled but shook her head, resolute in declining Kai’Sa offer. The dancer muttered something about being unfair but leaned against the woman, arms now wrapped against the toned muscle. She was pleasantly surprised by how taut it was under her touch. She saw the glance from Sivir, a slight flex in her arm as her head turned. Kai’Sa let out a sound of pleasure, something between a sigh and hum, eliciting a quiet chuckle from Sivir.

“How do you have time to work out?” Kai’Sa inquired and Sivir hummed, the two of them stepping up as customers stepped aside after completing their orders.

“I usually go to the gym on Sundays,” Sivir responded thoughtfully. “Other than that if I’m not too exhausted from work then I’ll spend at least an hour at the gym before work. Not too much though, I’m not trying to make myself pass out in the middle of the night in my car.”

Kai’Sa nodded, smiling and admiring the muscle. She found herself enjoying the feeling too much, her eyes getting slightly heavy when she glanced up and caught sight of Sivir wetting her lips with a flit of her tongue.

Kai’Sa blushed and looked up at the menu, considering the options. She really needed a cold drink, her eyes moving away from the hot drinks.

“Hey Sivir!” An excited voice came from behind the counter. Kai’Sa eyes landed on the yordle, tilting her head curiously at the sight of… She probably shouldn’t be calling yordles cute—she’s been in a couple of situations where it accidentally slipped out, but this yordle was honest to God, absolutely adorable.

“Lulu,” Sivir greeted simply, smiling and nodding her head. “I’ll have the regular.”

Lulu, as the yordle’s name tag said, nodded brightly and put the order in, looking to Kai’Sa for her order.

“Who’s the friend?” She asked, tilting her head and Kai’Sa’s head exploded with stars and cute fuzzy bunnies.

“Hi, I’m Kai’Sa,” she greeted with a smile and Lulu beamed, grinning at the tall woman.

“I’m Lulu! I’ll be taking your order today.”

“I’ll just take a coffee milk tea...with bubbles.” Kai’Sa saw the teasing eyeroll from Sivir and nudged her playfully.

“Great! Medium or large?”

“Large, Lulu” Sivir butted in, smiling reassuringly when Kai’Sa was about to contest.

Kai’Sa pouted as she stood aside, waiting for Sivir to pay and crossing her arms. She felt happy, but slightly guilty that Sivir was already spending money on her. Shaking her head, she stepped aside with Sivir who wrapped her arms around the woman’s waist, laughing at the pouty face from the pop star.

“It’s okay, seriously,” the slightly shorter woman said, watching the blush bloom on Kai’Sa’s face.

“My treat next time,” Kai’Sa claimed and Sivir nodded with a quiet laugh.

Sivir’s laugh made the Hong Kong native’s stomach knot, a sense of overwhelming affection for the woman suddenly rushing through her body. She wanted nothing more than to kiss her and cuddle with her. She suddenly hugged Sivir, burying her face into the startled woman’s neck.

“You okay?” Sivir’s voice softened, arms wrapping around Kai’Sa gently as she rubbed the woman’s back soothingly.

“Mhm,” Kai’Sa hummed, breathing out against Sivir’s neck. “What are we going to do about us when I have to go back?”

It came out as a whisper, a breath against the caramel skin. It shook Kai’Sa core, scaring her and sending a sudden wave of anxiety and sadness over her. Here she was spending the day with the apple of her eye and she was making herself sad.

“Hey,” Sivir whispered. “Let’s talk about that later okay? Enjoy today with me?”

Kai’Sa squeezed her eyes shut before sighing and nodding, opening them as she pulled back.

Their order number was called and after grabbing their drinks, Sivir led her to a table in the corner, away from the crowd so they could simply enjoy each other’s presence.

“How have the others been to you? Still bugging you?” Sivir teased and Kai’Sa groaned, leaning her head on her arms.

“They always make fun of me,” Kai’Sa whined out, smiling up at Sivir. “I think they’ve backed off a bit.”

Sivir nodded, chewing on the bubbles thoughtfully. “Taliyah is bugging me about you. She bugs me about everything though.”

“Hopefully she’s only hearing good things,” Kai’Sa warned playfully and Sivir rolled her eyes.

Conversation was easy between them, words flowing between them as if they had known each other for years before. Kai’Sa found herself more relaxed than she ever had been while in public; sitting with Sivir, smiling and laughing with the woman… Her heart felt at ease and she felt like she was on cloud nine.

“Your music video is playing,” Sivir pointed out, smiling as she watched it.

Kai’Sa turned in her seat and smiled, tilting her head curiously at the screen. Glancing around the room, she noticed quite a bit of people had also directed their attention to the screen, smiling and some of the younger patrons dancing in their seats.

“You guys are popular,” Sivir teased, but when Kai’Sa turned to look at her, she had a faraway look. “At my job, quite a few of my coworkers fawn over you.”

Kai’Sa arched an eyebrow at the unusual expression on Sivir’s face, smiling comfortingly at the woman.

“I don’t know if they know, but their coworker is being fawned over by a pop star.”

Sivir snapped out of her reverie, blushing and rubbing her nape sheepishly.

“Sorry,” Sivir mumbled, grabbing Kai’Sa’s hand and kissing it.

Kai’Sa opened her mouth to reassure her but immediately she flinched from a flash. Sivir confusingly looked at the cameraman, standing up and getting ready to move towards him.

Kai’Sa felt her stomach drop, a sense of dread washing over her as she stood up and grabbed Sivir’s hand unconsciously. It was a mistake: the cameraman quickly snapped pictures of them and Kai’Sa tugged at Sivir, leading her out and telling the camerman to stop.

“Please stop taking pictures of me,” Kai’Sa pleaded frustratingly, lips pursed.

“No can do. This is my job.”

Sivir growled and almost turned to knock him out but Kai’Sa held on tightly, giving her a pleading look. They had already made a scene from just having pictures taken of them, now the whole cafe was watching them.

“That’s the girl from the music video!”

“Kai’Sa! Oh my gosh.”

Kai’Sa covered her face and finally after what seemed like hours, she somehow got out of the cafe with Sivir in tow. She led the woman back to her car, feeling her anxiety rush up as she heard the door open behind them. It was a bit of a walk back to the car—hopefully, the man would get lost in the crowd.

She hated the paparazzi and she hated that Sivir was being dragged into this. She just wanted to spend one day with someone she cared for.

“Hey, slow down,” Sivir comforted but Kai’Sa shook her head.

“They’re just going to bother us if we stop,” Kai’Sa mumbled as she unlocked her car.

“Kai’Sa,” Sivir called out when they were in the car, doors locked. “It’s okay, breathe.”

It was only then did she notice that her breathing was erratic; she was sweating and when she looked into the mirror, she saw wild eyes and a sickly complexion. She whimpered and hid her face in her hands, trying to breathe deeply as she counted to ten.

It wasn’t often she had panic attacks. Even during the peak of their debut, Kai’Sa didn’t freak out—she had her close friends to protect and help her.

But the thought of Sivir possibly being dragged through the mud too? All because she happened to pine over her?

“Kai’Sa.” Her name sounded so muffled, blood rushing to her head and distorting her hearing. “You’re okay.”

She peeked up at Sivir, who looked concerned and angry as she glanced between the cameraman and the woman in front of her.

“You need to switch seats with me,” Sivir said quietly, getting out of the car and rushing to the driver’s side. She opened the door and helped Kai’Sa out, holding her hand as she led her to the passenger side.

Kai’Sa zoned in on the feeling of Sivir’s hand, squeezing and making sure the girl was still with her. Even as the flashes from the camera came aggressively at her, she ignored it, doing her best to focus on Sivir’s hand as she sat down in the passenger seat. She frantically gripped at her the woman’s hand when she let go, letting out a choked noise when the door closed.

Immediately, the other door opened and she saw Sivir sit in the driver’s seat, grabbing her hand and cupping her cheek.

“Keys? I’m getting you back to your place.” Sivir’s eyes were cold and hard, but she was concerned and it was all Kai’Sa had to hold onto.

“Jacket,” Kai’Sa murmured, holding tightly onto Sivir’s hand. The latter noticed it, switching hands so she could grab the keys with her left and started the ignition. “Please don’t let go.”

Kai’Sa felt dizzy, her body too warm and her mind too busy. She felt like she was suffocating but she focused on anything she could;

Hearing: Sivir’s words and the sound of the car’s engine. Smell: Sivir’s perfume, a light lavender. Sight: the streets, the car dashboard, Sivir. Taste: the aftertaste of her drink, sweet and caffeinated. Touch…

Really, Sivir’s hand was the only thing keeping her from breaking down and she squeezed it tightly, letting go when Sivir needed to shift gears and grabbing it again when she didn’t.

“I’m here,” Sivir whispered, loud enough for Kai’Sa to hear but not enough to startle the woman.

“I’m sorry,” Kai’Sa murmured back. “Ruined the day somehow.”

“Don’t say that,” Sivir scowled, glancing at the woman beside her. She slowed the car to a stop at the light and turned to kiss the woman’s hand. “I enjoyed today. It was unlucky that the paparazzi was there.”

Kai’Sa felt a wave of calm wash over her for a split second when Sivir’s lips ghosted over her hand, sighing deeply and closing her eyes.

“Will you leave?”

Sivir shook her head and drove them back to the K/DA house, the two of them with their hearts on their sleeves and worry in the minds.

* * *

“What happened?” Evelynn coldly asked and Sivir pursed her lips, feeling Kai’Sa hold onto her hand tighter, hiding behind the woman.

Never had she seen the usually confident and proud woman so scared. Sivir turned to embrace the woman and looked back at the worried members.

“Paparazzi,” Sivir started. “She got a panic attack. Rushed her back her as soon as I got her calmed down enough.”

Evelynn narrowed her eyes but immediately, she went to hold Kai’Sa. Sivir watched Kai’Sa fall into Evelynn’s embrace, Ahri joining them as the two helped their friend to the couch.

“I’ll leave her with you guys,” Sivir mumbled, unsure of what to do.

Akali looked at her cryptically, eyes staring at her as if they were taking her apart. She led the woman out but stopped her from leaving, only having brought her to the door for privacy.

“I know they didn’t say anything, but thank you.” Akali started, sighing when she glanced back into the house. “Evelynn isn’t one to say it, but she is glad you were there. You’re on her good side. Ahri will most definitely give you her thanks later.”

“It’s fine, I understand: Kai’Sa needs you guys right now.” Sivir’s chest felt tight as she turned to leave but Akali sighed.

“You were the one that was there to help her throughout. I think she needs you more right now.”

Sivir hesitated, thinking on what Akali just told her. On one end, she didn’t want to leave; Kai’Sa was in there, scared and sad, and Sivir wanted to comfort her. She was the one who comforted her during the crisis. On the other end, she didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes, she didn’t want to intrude when she wasn’t so sure of where she stood in relevancy to the rest of K/DA.

“Come on,” Akali mumbled, waving for the woman to come back in.

Sivir nodded and followed. She wasn’t going to leave, not when Akali has just welcomed her—asked—her to stay for Kai’Sa.

They returned to the living room, Sivir silent and concerned for the woman who caught her heart.

Kai’Sa was shaking, face buried into Ahri’s shoulder as she cried quietly. Evelynn was on the phone in the kitchen, angrily muttering to whichever party that was unlucky to be on the other end of the call.

“It’s okay,” Akali encouraged, nudging Sivir towards Kai’Sa.

Immediately, Kai’Sa peeked out and from seeing Sivir standing there, her hand slowly reached out, shaking but grasping at her.

Seeing the woman so vulnerable, Sivir cracked, her eyes welling up with tears as she stepped forward and took Kai’Sa’s hand. She kissed them before opening her arms as Kai’Sa crawled towards her, now burying her face into the crook of Sivir’s neck. Ahri smiled sadly, rubbing her back as Kai’Sa sobbed quietly into Sivir, the latter holding her tightly as she kissed the dancer’s hair.

Ahri started speaking, the language unintelligible to Sivir, but Akali translated, a small smile on her lips.

“Ahri says thank you for being there when we weren’t.”

Sivir nodded, directing a small smile towards the kumiho before looking back down at Kai’Sa.

It took a while, but by the time Evelynn returned from her phone call, Kai’Sa was calmed, laying in Sivir’s arms and drawing circles on her collarbone. Sivir tuned in on Kai’Sa quiet breathing, feeling herself grow tired as time passed. She looked around for a clock and frowned. Work started in an hour and a half, but she didn’t want to leave.

Evelynn saw where her frown was directed and immediately pulled out her phone again. Sivir gave her a confused look but she waved her hand, speaking into the phone as she walked away.

“She’s calling off for you,” Akali mused, sitting back and watching the scene in front of her. “Don’t mention it.”

Sivir nodded slowly, grateful and slightly curious about Evelynn’s persuasion… Or just straight up dominance over anyone she talked to.

“Are you tired?” Ahri asked, her accent much better than Sivir remembered it to be. She shook her head and masked the oncoming fatigue from the event today, only caring about Kai’Sa at the moment. Sleep could come later, when Sivir was sure that Kai’Sa was okay.

“I’m okay,” Sivir responded when Akali and Ahri gave each other a look.

“Very tired,” Ahri noted shortly.

“Can you carry her?” Evelynn asked, coming back from the kitchen. Her eyes were merely sad now as they landed on Kai’Sa.

Sivir nodded and stood up when the singer beckoned her to. Carefully adjusting Kai’Sa, who had silently wrapped her arms around Sivir’s neck to lessen the weight, she followed Evelynn down the hallway and into a room.

“This is her room.”

Sivir nodded and slowly walked to the bed, placing Kai’Sa down gently. The woman gripped tightly to her jacket as she was let down, not wanting to be any farther from Sivir.

What happened that made Kai’Sa so scared? Sivir clenched her fist, angry at the prospect of someone possibly scarring her.

“Just stay the night. It’s better for both of you,” Evelynn stated, leaning against the doorframe. “She doesn’t want you to go and it doesn’t look like you do either.”

Sivir shook her head to confirm Evelynn’s observations, her lips brushed Kai’Sa forehead as she shifted onto the bed.

“Thank you,” Sivir whispered and Evelynn arched an eyebrow. “For calling them. I don’t think they would have let me if I asked for tonight. I want to be here for her.”

Evelynn hummed, satisfied by what she was hearing as a small and kind smile slipped onto her lips.

“Just take care of her for us,” Evelynn walked over, brushed Kai’Sa’s hair to the side as she undid her buns. “You are kind.”

Sivir watched the exhausted dancer’s hair fall out of its bun, adding to the volume of Kai’Sa’s hair. She was truly the picture of a goddess, hair long and soft, skin so perfectly clear.

“I care a lot for her,” Sivir murmured, making sure Kai’Sa heard it. When Kai’Sa peeked up at her, she smiled at the quirk in Kai’Sa’s lips, laughing quietly when Kai’Sa murmured it back.

Evelynn smiled as she got up, leaving silently and closing the door.

“Are you tired?” Kai’Sa asked, now calmed and alone.

“I’m fine,” Sivir murmured.

She tried to adjust herself to make herself comfortable but no amount of shifting would ease the ache in her body. She gave Kai’Sa a look and smiled sheepishly, taking off her jacket before climbing over the woman. Kai’Sa’s eyes followed her, a certain fear and curiosity mixing together in her violet orbs.

“Big spoon or little?” Sivir asked, smiling at the blush on Kai’Sa’s face.

It seemed the Kai’Sa was back to being able to function, albeit very tiredly. Sivir herself had never had a panic attack, but if she was this tired just from dealing with the paparazzi, she couldn’t imagine how tired Kai’Sa would be from dealing with that and her own panic.

“Little,” Kai’Sa pouted, shifting in and pulling Sivir’s arms around her waist.

Sivir hummed and scooched in, holding her securely as she breathed in and out deeply.

“Thank you,” Kai’Sa whispered after a moment of silence, her voice barely audible. “I’m glad you were there.”

“I’m still here, so if you’re scared, please,” Sivir kissed her shoulder, nipping it playfully. “Please don’t hesitate to wake me up if you get scared. Don’t wait to confide in me if something is killing you inside.”

“I won’t.”

Sivir waited, forcing her eyes to stay awake until she heard and felt Kai’Sa’s breathing even out. She squeezed her eyes shut and took a breath in, quickly pulling the covers over them as she laid there.

She was glad Kai’Sa was okay.

But the next person who ever hurt Kai’Sa, intentionally or not, was going to get a broken jaw.

* * *

“I’m guessing you approve,” Akali mused, kissing Evelynn on the cheek as the singer sat down.

Evelynn rolled her eyes and laid against the rapper. She met the eyes of Ahri, orbs twinkling with mischief.

“Oh my God, fine,” Evelynn grumbled. “She’s okay. If she hurts Kai’Sa though…”

“Simple,” Ahri said, looking at her nails. “You won’t be the only one on her if she hurts Kai’Sa.”

Akali sat there, looking at the two older members with a scrunched up face.

“You guys are weird. And scary.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> hello! i’m back with an angsty-ish one. i’ve been trying to find some time and motivation to write but i’ve been playing league with my friends and taking exams... so that’s fun
> 
> panic attacks vary from different people; ive had friends who just go off and kind of sob it all out and then when i have one, i hyperventilate and sweat and disassociate before getting to that hysteria and sobbing, all while trying to catch my breath, so i hope my description of the panic attack was still kind of... obvious it was a panic attack
> 
> i hope you enjoy this one, i will go in depth on why exactly Kai’Sa had a panic attack— there is background to this i promise!!— later in another work


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